So, now that my figurative little “Procrastination Play” has ended [see previous blog entry], I’m ready to write. Seriously. Really. “Baby, I’m for real.” [I know that’s a song title, but, hey–.] I am seriously ready to write. Absolutely. Umm humm…
The bottom line is, I went on a communicative sabbatical, socially and creatively. Not by choice, mind you. Oh no. I don’t want to pour out excuses, because, “Excuses are mountains of nothingness. They build bridges to nowhere. Those who use these tools of incompetence are masters of nothing.” I learned that back in college when I pledged a Fraternity’s auxiliary group. Sorry to digress for a second–.
Anyway, I’m not about to pour out excuses for being absent for the past three months…I have reasons. Reasons are different from excuses, aren’t they? I looked it up to make sure.
Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines a reason as rightly and justifiable. A reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. In other words, it’s a rational ground or motive for doing (or not doing) something. Whereas, the definition of an excuse is to make an apology for or to try to remove blame from a certain thing or action.
See the difference? I had no cause to place blame–. “Life” just happened and I was deeply wounded for a while. I could have—should have, but chose not to write. I was angry and didn’t feel like talking or writing. In retrospect, I should have captured the jagged emotion at the time it was scarring my heart but I didn’t. If I could lend some advice here: try to capture those raw emotions to use later. It might help.
For those who are interested, here’s a rundown of my justifiable grounds for being emotionally incapable of not doing much of anything other than going to work each day: The one-year anniversary of my mother’s death, right on the heels of Easter and Mother’s Day, hit me harder than I ever imagined it would. I didn’t see that emotional sledgehammer coming! I still miss her tremendously. Also in May, my beloved uncle died of a massive heart attack and it shook the family violently. It was completely unexpected to our entire family because he was so vibrant and seemingly healthy. And finally, my baby, my precious, adorable, health-issue-laden dog, Cosmo, aka, “The Puppy Biscuit,” had to be put down. All of that underscored by my self-imposed decision to move across state lines and endure all the hassles, drama and trails that are typically associated with moving–.
As a result, I had not written, blogged or tweeted for such a long time that I had to dig deep to remember my various login and passwords!
But, I’m ready now. Sigh. I’m back in the saddle. Novel Completion Day, here I come. D –190 and counting!!!